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Send us your joke about EXPEDIA at : webmaster@victimsofexpedia.com
Making fun of EXPEDIA (after they tried to scam me 1254,54 U$D, but failed)
The old EXPEDIA's slogan: - Don't just scam, scam right.
The new EXPEDIA's slogan: Scam with confidence
EXPEDIA's customer support team jokes (corporate phrases to make fun of customers)
- Thanks for contacting EXPEDIA
- Your comments are important to us
- Someone in the appropriate department is working on your case
- Your case has been forwarded to me for further research
- I understand that there were some issues with regards .............
- I am researching all the documentation and the fax that was sent to my department
- I will contact you directly after completing my investigation
- If you have any further questions or comments, please feel free to reply to this e-mail
- We regret that your experience using Expedia.com was not to your satisfaction.
- Please be assured that the entire team at Expedia.com is dedicated to not only providing the most efficient, user friendly, and accurate travel application, but also to the highest standards of support for our members.
- As previously advised to you, this case is being handled by the appropriate department and will respond to you as soon as possible
- We appreciate your patience regarding this matter
EXPEDIA's representative terms
Big deals......................already booked
No extra fees .............. No service
Nominal fee ................. Outrageous charge
Cheap flight................overbooked flight, canceled flight, delayed flight,
Big saving.................................Bait and switch scam
Dream vacation........................ nightmare
Adventure...................................nightmare
Trip insurance.............................. limited coverage
Explore and discover...................be at your own, extra expenses, hidden fees
Best price guarantee........................ find the same flight, a the same day, the same airline,
EXPEDIA promise.................................Scam
Hassle free hurricane promise.................Scam
Package protection plan ........................Scam
0.01 U$D room/night............................Bait and switch scam
All included…………………………. Hidden fee, no service,
Standard ……………………….substandard, low level
Online service …………………. Ignore customer
Our customer support team………………our con artists
Supervisor ..............................................middle level con artist
Customer specialist ………………………hig level con artist, con artist boss
Click to order…………………………double click scam
Call us …………………………….be prepared to wait hours on the phone
Wait one minute while I transfer your call .....................................wait forever
Beautiful hotel ………………………….false advertisement
External links ………………………………blame others, scam, false advertisement
Go with confidence ………………………. trust us, it would be easier for us to scam you
Expedia’s terms and conditions ………………………Expedia’s tools to scam, corporate abuse
Our partners…………………………………Our accomplices
Other restrictions apply……………Additional charges, more hidden fees, worse service
Our Competitors…………………………Other criminal organizations
EXPEDIA.COM……………………….EXPEDIA.CON, EXPEDIA.SCAM
EXPEDIA.ORG………………………..EXPEDIA.MOB
Our CEO…………………………………. The godfather
A short guide to understand EXPEDIA's corporate letters
As example I’ll use phrases from e-mails EXPEDIA sent to me. But you would find very familiar most of these phrases.
First at all EXPEDIA’s messages (or most corporate messages) are well written letters from superior people with a deep knowledge and understanding of grammar, semantic and dialectic. We customers are ignorant, retarded, with difficulties in understanding basic concepts of communication.
This is a short guide to understand what we customers believe EXPEDIA is telling us and what EXPEDIA is really telling us.
It took me while to appreciate the real meaning of the messages I had in my mailbox.
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What you think EXPEDIA tells you |
What EXPEDIA is telling you |
|
Dear Customer |
Retarded customer; You idiot, |
|
Thanks for contacting EXPEDIA |
Why are you bothering us? |
|
Thanks for choosing EXPEDIA |
Thanks for giving us a chance to scam you |
|
Your feedback is important to us |
Your money is important to us |
|
We will contact you within 72 hr |
Don’t bother us for 72 hr, call us after 1-4 weeks when you don’t hear from us. Better, don’t call us again |
|
Please allow 1-2 billing cycles for the credit to reflect to your statement |
Don’t expect your money back in less that 6 month. Better, forget about your money. |
|
Sorry for the long delay in resolving your case |
We couldn’t find earlier an excuse to keep your money |
|
I wish to apologize for the fact that you have not been contacted |
We need more time to find an excuse to scam you |
|
We understand you have some issues with our services |
We know you don’t want to be scammed |
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As a sign of goodwill we’ll reimburse you 800 U$D for the 1229.99 U$D we charged in your credit card. |
We will steal 429.99 U$D from your credit card |
|
We’ll offer you a coupon for 150 U$D for future purchases |
We want another chance to scam you |
|
We regret this incident |
We regret we couldn’t scam you |
|
We are sorry this issue was not resolved to your satisfaction |
We are sorry you don’t accept being scammed |
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A special letter from Santa to your kid for this Christmas.... From the North Pole
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If this year you cannot afford the expensive presents your kids put in the list for this Christmas. Here is a perfect excuse. It will work better if you or someone you know have been ripped off by EXPEDIA.
This letter can also be used by people that were scammed by other online travel agencies. Simply replace “EXPEDIA” by the other travels site. I guarantee it will work since they are all doing the same.
Feel free to share with your friends and relatives. If you haven’t been scammed yet, visit http://www.expedianews.com for hundred of examples to show to your kids. They will really believe this letter was sent by Santa.
Dear (your kid’s name here)
Congratulations !!!!
Every year Santa chose special kids with a lot of love in their heart. This year you have been selected. I’m afraid that Santa will no bring you the all the present (e.g. iPhone, Xbox, WiII) in your list. Apparently his sleigh broke and he decided to travel using EXPEDIA. He had a series of unfortunate events
Remember when your Mom and Dad were delayed in New York (Put the city of your choice) because when they went to the airport they couldn’t fly because EXPEDIA failed to book their fligt.
Something very similar happened to Santa this year.
Any trip by the Polar Express form the North Pole to (name your city here) requires a paper ticket (not an e-ticket). Remember the movie?.....
For some reason Santa never received his paper ticket. He lost precious time trying to contact EXPEDIA’s customer service. Santa tried to contact EXPEDIA by e-mail by they never responded. When he called EXPEDIA by phone, he was put on hold for several hours, conveniently disconnected and when he managed to talk to a representative he couldn’t fix the problem. This representative suggested Santa to buy another ticket (far more expensive from the original trip from the North Pole to here.). Santa was abandoned in the North Pole without a ticket and he had to buy another form a different travel agency. Since the North Pole is very cold, and he had to spend several nights waiting for his next trip, he spent thousand of dollars in hotels instead of buying presents for all kids. Since EXPEDIA’s policy is not to reimburse any money for their mistakes, Santa will never have his money back. In the best scenario he will have his money back after several month. Remember that your Mom and Dad had to wait for 6-7 month to be reimbursed by EXPEDIA for the missed New York flight)?
So, this year Santa won’t come or he will come later. If he comes he won’t be able to bring all the presents you asked for. However, since you are a very special kid Santa will still manage to put a very special gift full of love under your tree.
Sealed with love Administrative Department The North Pole Inc. On behalf of Santa (he is still lost somewhere) |